Myrrhy Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it!

I’m utterly wiped out, so here are the two commemorative ornaments I bought this year. I bought the first one because Macy’s had a sale for 75% off Christmas decor and I wanted something with the year on it. I’m not wild about it—the perfectionist in me wants a matching one for the other hand so I could hang them side by side in a true pair—but I wasn’t sure if I would find anything else in time.

A Christmas ornament in the shape of a mitten, with the word "joy" and the year 2023.

After I bought the mitten ornament and a few others, plus a star for next year’s tree, I went to CVS to pick up a few things and they had this one. I like it better. It’s more me. But hey, 2023 was extra hard, so why not get two ornaments to add some cheer to the holidays?

A Christmast ornament featuring a snowman and the year 2023.

And now for the final state Christmas tree, Washington. Love the Big Foot near the top! This one goes out to my dear friend Kari and her husband Dave. I “met” Kari through my online private journal 21 years ago, and then we met for real in 2004 when she and Dave rented a place in Manhattan for a month. My ex-hub and I went up to meet them and a few other folks I’ve since fallen out of touch with. Right away I was struck by how much style they both had, and how truly in love with one another they were. I’m SUPER cynical about marriage (my own was limping along at the time and that weekend was the final straw for me in ways I won’t get into here), but those two are just so right for each other.

But beyond that, Kari just gets me in a way only a few other people do. She understands my introvert moments, my ironically ambivalent pride in being a member of Generation X, and my appreciation of a good ghost story. She’s one of those people that you can have an entire conversation with using just quotes from a TV series or a movie (actually, so is Dave), and we’ve had running jokes for years about the weather based on a YouTuber’s famous “It’s Hot As Hell” rant and Cathy Ladman’s Christmas routine about the Three Wise Men. In fact, Kari sent me a little bottle of myrrh that I keep on my desk, along with some peppermint headache balm that I often use on weekdays. So, here’s to the bestest couple ever! I’m due for a visit out your way. Say when.

Washington's state Christmas tree, 2023.
Washington’s state Christmas tree, 2023. Click to embiggen.

To All a Good Night

Christmas Eve is often more hectic than Christmas Day. There are last-minute gifts to buy, presents to wrap, ribbons to curl, food to prepare, and cookies to bake and leave out for Santa. For those who celebrate Christmas, I hope you can take a moment to just breathe, feel your heart beat, and be present with yourself and your gentlest thoughts of what brings you joy.

An image of curling ribbon.
Image: Jess Bailey. Haiku: me.

And now for Virginia’s state Christmas tree. Of course it has a Northern Cardinal, our state bird. I love the Virginia Bluebells, too.

Virginia's state Christmas tree, 2023.
Virginia’s state Christmas tree, 2023. Click to embiggen.

And to all a good night.

A South Shore Girl

I clicked the random Holidailies prompt, and it was perfect: “Do you still live in the place where you grew up? How far away are you now, and why?”

I live about a six-hour drive from where I grew up, which was on Long Island. (ON Long Island. Never say “IN Long Island.” You’ll reveal yourself as one who has never set foot there and anyone who has ever lived there or in New York City will correct you on the spot.) On Long Island you had the rich kids on the North Shore and the cool kids on the South Shore and I’m proud to say that while I wasn’t rich, or even all that cool, I’m from the South Shore.

Long Island is known for a lot of things. It’s where a lot of people who work in Manhattan live. The beaches are gorgeous. If you like guys who are into cars you can take your pick. Then there’s wine country, the Hamptons, and Montauk. If you head out to the South Fork you will pass the Big Duck, which was originally built in 1931 by duck farmer Martin Maurer and used as a shop to sell ducks and duck eggs.

A building in the shape of a giant duck.
Image: Mike Peel

Here’s my Big Duck Christmas ornament, along with one of the ornaments from a set that used to be my parents’. I lived on Long Island for most of my 40s and got the Big Duck ornament when a friend came up to visit me and we went wine tasting.

Two Christmas ornaments, one in the shape of a duck, the other featuring a poinsettia.

No discussion of Long Island would be complete without mentioning the musicians who either hailed from there or decided to base themselves there, including Billy Joel, Pat Benatar, The Stray Cats, Steve Vai, Twisted Sister, Lou Reed, and Blue Oyster Cult.

In fact, LL Cool J was born in my hometown, Bay Shore. The town has several other claims to fame—it’s where you catch the ferry to Fire Island, it’s close to Robert Moses State Park and its beaches, it’s home to the Boulton Center for the Performing Arts (where I once saw Henry Rollins do spoken word)—but my favorite is that for nearly 100 years, the town was home to a huge Entenmann’s bakery.

Everyone loved Entenmann’s. There was nothing, but nothing, better than being there at just the right moment when the apple pies came off the line and were still warm in the box when you bought them. They would also have “dollar days” where you could get goodies that were getting close to their sell-by date or whose boxes were slightly wonky for only a buck. Entenmann’s cakes froze pretty well, so people would go in with shopping carts and go nuts with a twenty-dollar bill.

My favorite Entenmann’s cake was the chocolate with white icing with chocolate stripes and a single maraschino cherry on top. I think the chocolate might have been devil’s food, but then they introduced another goodie, a devil’s food cake with marshmallow icing and devil’s food crumbles on top. The banana cake was amazing, too. Then there were the chocolate glazed doughnuts with the chocolate crumbles on top that were also coated with powdered sugar just in case your pancreas  My parents always had an Entenmann’s coffee crumb cake on reserve in case company came over, so Sebastian Maniscalco’s comedy routine about that is spot on.

Living so close to the bakery made waiting for the school bus more bearable. On days when the wind was just right, our part of town would smell like a warm blueberry muffin in the morning.

Why am I in northern Virginia? I went to college at George Washington University in D.C., fell in love with the city, and decided to stay in the area. Barring eight years back on the Island in my 40s that I still haven’t decided if I regret, and one year in Hawaii that I don’t regret but probably should, I’ve been in the D.C. area ever since.

And now for the tree from my home state, New York. I love the ornament with the pizza slice. There really is no pizza like New York pizza. It’s the dough and the Mafia tomatoes in the sauce.

New York's state Christmas tree, 2023.
New York’s state Christmas tree, 2023. Click to embiggen.

P.S. Don’t touch the crumb cake. It’s for company.