Category Archives: Holidailies

Fashion asks, I answer.

Well, I blew it on Holidailies. My day job takes a lot out of the tank and by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit at a computer again. It’s the thought that counts!

But hey, Sunday Stealing!

What season has your favorite looks? Spring, although I look better in sweaters.

Formal or casual? Formal, or at least business casual. Or at least not jeans. I don’t like jeans. I’m of an age where they are no longer comfortable and when I’m not at work I much prefer pants. Black pants. Lots and lots of black pants.

Thrift store, boutique, or online? Boutique, if by boutique you mean Nordstrom Rack, Macy’s, and Marshalls.

What’s your favorite decade for fashion? For women, probably the turn of the century. This century, I mean. For men, the 80s. Miami Vice, to be specific. The 80s were the closest American men have ever come to chic on the daily. They wore color. Color! On American men! Now? Oh, dear gawd, enough with the olive cargo shorts, ratty t-shirts, ball caps, and brown flip-flops. Flip-flops suck, okay? That goes for women, too. They’re for the beach or the pool, not city streets. Of course, if you want cellulitis, by all means, splash around in dog feces, rotting food, rat blood, and heaven-knows-what that greenish-brown liquid is by the curb.

Back when men were men and women wore shoulder pads.

Do you like to accessorize? I would if I knew what I was doing. That’s my weak spot.

What does your basic outfit look like? V-neck, pants, boots, tote.

What piece of clothing do you spend your money on the most? Boots and shoes.

Do you wear hats? No. They mess up my hair. When it’s cold I wear headbands.

What is your opinion on wearing socks and sandals together? Don’t. Ever.

What colors do you like to wear? Black, red, purple, royal blue, hunter green, burgundy, occasionally white, but under a blazer or cardigan. Fall is my best for colors.

What are some of the strangest outfits you have seen? Pretty much whatever Lady Gaga wore ten years ago.

What fashions do you hate? Oh, please do not get me started on this whole resurgence of poofy sleeves, high necks, and tiny florals. There is nothing more ridiculous than a grown woman walking around looking like a cross between Holly Hobbie and Laura Ingalls, except for maybe a grown woman walking around looking like a cross between Holly Hobbie and Laura Ingalls while wearing white tennis shoes. Enough with the tennis shoes and dresses.

What are your favorite styles? I like lean lines and timeless elegance. And wrap dresses. And girly Date Night outfits. Also, tropical, but not beach-comber. Think cruise or resort. Visit my URSTYLE profile for a taste of what I would wear if I had unlimited funds and the body for it.

What do you think of body piercing? I try not to. Not a fan.

Do you like dyed hair? Sure, if it’s right for the person’s skin tone.

Roc on.

I love me some Sunday Stealing, boy howdy. Props to Bev at Funny the World for keeping it going.

And to think, back in the day I used to dislike memes. Now I like the speed of them. A reflection of the times, perhaps, where so much material gets spat out in short bursts of social media. Or maybe it’s all I have energy for. Or brainpower.

Favorite novel and author? One of my favorite novels is Bambi by Felix Salten (yes, it was a novel before it was a Disney thing) and one of my favorite authors is Anne Rice. Neither one of those are part of the security question so don’t even try.

Favorite perfume/scent? Perfume to wear, not really sure. I trotted out some Pleasures by Estee Lauder last night for a night of adult games, which sounds much more raunchy than the skee ball and tabletop shuffleboard it was. And I will have you know that I am undefeated at tabletop shuffleboard. Must be all of those years of air hockey.

I digress. I’m also fond of Oscar de la Renta signature sent, but haven’t worn it in forever. Hmmm, must revisit the whole fragrance thing because Pleasures is really strong and that’s just tapping the little roller ball once to the skin. No way could I spray it. My eyes would cross.

Scent on a man? Sawdust. No joke. My favorite part of any relationship with a guy is the first trip to Home Depot. Maybe it’s the whole “a man who works with his hands” thing, which would be really ironic being that I live and work in one of the most soft-handed areas in the U.S.

Coffee or tea? Tea. I have never had a cup of coffee in my life. Yeah, I know. I’m a freak of nature.

Are you a cat or dog person? I like them both but I’m a bird person.

Inigo the Nanner King says, “Good answer.”

Which mythical creature would you transform into if you could? A Roc. See? Bird person. But I wouldn’t feed my young with elephants like the Roc does in The Arabian Nights. Let’s just say I would consider the elephant in the picture below symbolic and Paul Ryan should know that his decision to retire is a good one.

(Plate from The Arabian Nights, public domain.)

Favorite time period? In some ways, the ’80s. It was big and bold, and it was when I came of age. But there’s no time like the present.

Name 3 films that have changed your life and have shaped you into the person you are today. Films generally don’t have that effect on me. I see them as entertainment, even when they’re deep.

Diamonds or pearls? Lab-cultured diamonds. The Kimberley Process is rubbish and I don’t want blood on my hands. Come to think of it, Blood Diamond might be a film that affected me. I haven’t wanted or accepted diamonds since.

What’s your biggest dream? Six winning numbers.

Dream destination? Finland. So much winter. So much snow. So many forests. So many long nights in which to write. So much fabulous education producing so many well-read, well-rounded people. So much common sense. So many smart, gorgeous guys. So many Poets of the Fall concerts.

Share a quote or passage that means something to you.I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.” — Dorothy Parker

What’s your favorite plant/flower? Irises and anything little and purple (violets, pansies, lilacs, etc.).

Do you prefer the forest or the ocean? Why? The forest. I like the scent of the earth, the sound of the wind in the trees, and birds, birds everywhere.

What do you value most in people? Integrity.

Well, it IS cold outside!

It wouldn’t be the holiday season without controversy. Usually it’s the Starbucks coffee cups: OHMAHGAH, secularism! OHMAHGAH, lesbians! OHMAHGAH…nothing! Nothing on the cup but red! OHMAHGAH, how offensive that they didn’t give us something to be offended by!

This year it’s a classic holiday tune, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Some folks have their panties in a wad about it. OHMAHGAH, it’s sexist! OHMAHGAH, it’s about date rape!

People, calm your teats. Really. It’s a song. If you don’t like it, don’t listen to it—kind of like how if you don’t like Christmas sweaters, don’t wear one; if you don’t like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” don’t watch it; and if you don’t like Grandma’s Christmas aspic, don’t eat it.

“Nobody ate the Christmas aspic.” (Credit: Natalia Rivera, Wikimedia)

Well, okay, maybe eat some of the Christmas aspic so you don’t make Grandma sad.

Unless you’re a vegetarian like me, in which case, Grandma’s dog is going to have gas from eating aspic under the table.

Point is, what a luxury, what a bit of privilege, to have nothing more pressing, nothing more harrowing, nothing more urgent to worry about than a 70-year-old song.

Me, I’m done with the Perennially Offended. Whenever I encounter people who get bent about things like coffee cups and songs and pronounce “I’m offended” like the whole world is supposed to stop, consider their tender sensibilities, and make all of existence a “safe space” where they will never have to face anything more abrasive than the cotton balls they stuff into their ears when they’re confronted by an opposing opinion, I channel George Carlin: “So what?”

Invariably their response goes something like this:

Then they’ll stare at me like how dare I not sympathize with them, how dare I not commiserate and comfort them in their moment of indignation? It’s like they cannot believe that someone is not going to apologize for having a different view, at which point I will say something like, “Look, not everyone sees things the way you do.”

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about tolerating intolerance, hate speech, prejudice, or discrimination. It wasn’t too long ago that I confronted some tourists from Texas who were nattering on about “homo judges” while walking down Pennsylvania Avenue. I turned around and told them that such talk is not welcome here.

I’m talking about things that ultimately don’t make a lick of difference because they’re a matter of taste and interpretation. I could sit here and come up with a list of songs, paintings, photographs, movies, TV shows, books, articles, and social media posts that I could find offensive, but so what? People aren’t going to stop creating them, and people aren’t going to stop enjoying them. I’d be one lousy excuse for a writer if I sought censorship just to accommodate my sense of aesthetics, and getting offended about every little thing is only going to make me look like a whiner.

Of course, you’re entirely welcome to your opinion, and you’re absolutely welcome to spend your time looking for things to be offended by, but I’ll leave you with this gem from Hubert Humphrey:

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.