I’m about to out myself.
I’m white, and I don’t like pumpkin spice lattes.*
In fact, I don’t like any kind of latte because I don’t drink coffee. This will brand me as a freak among adults, but I’ve never had a cup of coffee in my 49 years on the planet—and believe me, it’s not for lack of trying. I’ve tried black coffee, coffee with milk, coffee with sugar, coffee with milk and sugar, espresso, cappuccino, light roast, medium roast, medium-dark roast, dark roast, instant, freshly ground from the beans, organic, flavored, coffee-house, Dunkin’ Donuts, New York diner, cheap, expensive, hip, snooty, artisan, Sanka. I’ve tried Colombian, Kenyan, and Indonesian (Sumatra and Java). I freelanced for Lion Coffee writing their company newsletters when I lived in Hawaii and nope, not Kona coffee, either. Much as I loved the smell of their Vanilla Macadamia Nut coffee, it couldn’t tempt me to take advantage of the perk of free coffee at the time, although I did snag some for my parents when they came to visit.
You know how they say “love conquers all?” It doesn’t. My ex-husband was an avid coffee-drinker, and he once told me he’d love nothing more than to have some with me, so I promised him I’d sit out on the porch of our honeymoon suite in Jamaica and have a cup of Blue Mountain with him, even if it was just that once. One sip and…
Perhaps that was another of several omens for the marriage.
I do drink tea, however, so I’m not completely excluded from Big People Dessert Time. I like most herbal teas except for chamomile (see: Snoopy, above), and I love Twinings Prince of Wales and English Breakfast teas, but I’m a Picardian at heart—“tea, Earl Grey, hot.” Try a cup with the following pumpkin cookie recipe, which a friend gave to me about 10 years ago. Hey, just because I don’t drink pumpkin spice lattes, that doesn’t mean I don’t like pumpkin.
Elizabeth’s Soft Pumpkin Cookies
1/2 cup butter – softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup pumpkin – solid pack
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
Cream butter and sugar in large bowl. Add egg and vanilla, beat until fluffy. Combine flour and dry ingredients. Add to butter mixture alternating with pumpkin. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls onto lightly greased cookie sheets. Bake at 350 for 8-11 minutes or until lightly browned.
The cookies are moist enough for me, but if you like, you can make a simple confectioner’s glaze with:
2 cups confectioner’s sugar
2 tablespoons of water or milk
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
*I don’t like Uggs or yoga, either.