Tag: feminism

Goodbye, 2024.

This entry is dedicated to Peep, a sweet Northern Mockingbird youngster I tried desperately to help last summer, but was unable to save.

A young Northern Mockingbird near a tray of water.

This entry is also dedicated to Sparrow, a Sparrow who died in my hands after being attacked by a Grackle; Sparky and Rascal the Squirrels who passed likely due to rat poison; the squirrel who was already gone when I found her and is buried in a park nearby; the Pigeon who was already gone whom I buried near a park; a baby bird who was already gone whom I laid to rest under a shrub; Holly, another Sparrow who came for help on my balcony, but who, like Peep, I could not save; the Crows who were so far gone I could not lift them to bury them; and the millions of birds, animals, sea creatures, reptiles, and insects who suffered and died this year because of humans. They mattered, and they are forever in my heart. If I could change one thing about humanity, it would be to open its eyes to what I see and feel from every living creature I encounter, so that our species would live in harmony with theirs.

What did you do in 2024 that you’d never done before?
Go to cardiac rehab. Have a couple of social media posts go viral.

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I mostly did. I will absolutely have a few resolutions for 2025, and will be revisiting a couple from 2024.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

Did anyone close to you die?
Susan and I weren’t close, but I considered her a friend. The first time I saw Poets of the Fall in concert and the last time she saw them in concert we were together. She once sent me a short story she had written and I wish I could have seen more of her writing before she died. I miss her.

Did anyone close to you get married?
A lovely woman in my city-hiking group did. Congrats Amanda and Nav!

What countries did you visit?
None, alas. I had to cancel my trip to Portugal on account of cardiac rehab.

What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024?
A million bucks.

What dates from 2024 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 8, when Sparrow died in my hands. Some of my friends and acquaintances found out just how much I love birds that day. November 5, when my country died in a voting booth.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Bringing my ejection fraction from 40% on the day of my heart attack to 65% before I finished cardiac rehab. Healthy ejection fraction, also known colloquially as “heart function” is between 55% and 70%. More than one doctor did a double-take when looking at my charts and scans.

What was your biggest failure?
I would have liked to have lost 20 pounds. The thing about heart attacks is that your health care team will encourage you to drop a few pounds and then put you on medications that promote weight gain.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes, but minor–coughs, colds, routine aches and pains.

What was the best thing you bought?
I sent a couple of NextMugs for Chica K and her hub. And one for a bestie who I hope isn’t reading this. And one for me. They’re self-heating mugs. They come with a rechargeable battery that you charge on a special coaster that you plug into your wall. And lemme tellya, you know milks cool your coffee or whipped cream cools your hot chocolate? Not any more! They’re one of those little splurges that enhance your quality of life by making something simple, like a hot beverage on a winter night, extra nice.

Here’s today’s ornament, sent to me by Chica K in a gift box along with a few other goodies, including a very nice throw that looks fabulous on my couch.

A knitted Christmas ornament in the shape of a Christmas tree.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friend Louise, who did not judge me but instead comforted me and helped me as I sobbed over Sparrow. France. Heck of an Olympics show. Gisèle Pelicot. The courage that woman has. Dare I say Luigi Mangione? He woke a lot of people up. He has also made a lot of people who should be scared, scared. As John F. Kennedy said, those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. My country is headed for some dark days.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
77 million Americans. I can’t believe how racist, misogynistic, and bigoted so many of my fellow Americans are. As someone on a social put it, they’ll vote for a corpse before they vote for a woman.

Where did most of your money go?
Rent.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I had a lot of hope for Kamala Harris.

What song will always remind you of 2024?
This came out in 2022 but #notallmen took off in 2024 in response to women choosing the bear. It’s not all men, but it’s always a man. Or, 70,000 men in rape chats. Or the one-third of college men who would rape a woman if they thought they could get away with it. And those are just the dumb ones who talk about it publicly. When the good men come forth, do the inner work, actively take steps to deconstruct the patriarchy, and confront and educate men who harm women, let me know, because I see precious few of them actually doing that.

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Neither. I’m angrier.

Older or wiser?
Older, of course. We all are. Wiser, I don’t know. More cynical, definitely.

Thinner or fatter?
Slightly fatter. See, resolutions I didn’t keep, above.

Richer or poorer?
Richer.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Travel.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Work.

How did you spend Christmas?
Chilling. That’s what I do.

How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
I’ll be seeing John Oliver.

What was your favorite TV program?
Still What We Do In the Shadows. I heart Nandor, and I was sad to see the series end. Loved the second season of The Empress. Currently loving Dexter: Original Sin.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word, but I didn’t know or care who JD Vance was a year ago and unfortunately, now I do.

What was the best book you read?
Twilight Empress by Faith L. Justice, as that’s the only one I finished. But I’m enjoying Jonathan Kellerman’s Breakdown.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Jax.

What did you want and get?
A new boss.

What did you want and not get?
Six winning numbers. Or five.

What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn’t go to the movies this year. Nothing really stood out to me on any of the streaming services.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Got take-out, which I always do. I keep the fortune in my wallet for the next year. Much to my relief, this time there was actually a fortune in my cookie, unlike in 2023. I’m not saying not having a fortune in your birthday fortune cookie is an omen, but I did have a heart attack a few days later.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Kamala Harris winning the U.S. election.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?
I don’t have one, but click here to see my rather neglected URSTYLE profile.

What kept you sane?
Puzzles, games, and wild birds.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I’ve lost my taste for celebrities and public figures, actually.

What political issue stirred you the most?
Every damn one of them.

Who do you miss?
Inigo, with all my heart.

Who was the best new person/people you met?
Probably the new director at work. He values work-life balance. Incredible in this day and age in the U.S., I know.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2024:
People who say they “understand the assignment” can’t be trusted. The math doesn’t add up. Maybe they understood the assignment, and maybe they even wrote it down in a memo pad, but when they went home to vote they left the memo pad in their locker. Also, a lot of White women have their heads up their arses with performative actions regarding racism. Blue bracelets and blue heart tattoos? That’s how you do the work? Really?

A quote that sums up your year:
I am woman, hear me roar.

Not the happiest year, by far. I’m certainly grateful to be alive, without any cardiac complications, but damn, the whole world is on fire like I’ve never seen in my 58 years on the planet, and I don’t see it improving any time soon.

A meme showing a Mogwai from the movie Gremlins near a running faucet.

Oh, Shut Up, Elmo.

You know what I want for Christmas? A Shut-Me-Up Elmo. Instead of tickling him, when he runs his mouth, you tell him to shut up and he apologizes for being an ignorant asshat and then never again speaks about things he knows nothing about.

Seriously. Eleven kids with three different women, and Elon Musk wants to talk about morality? So tired of these sexist jackdonkeys who think women’s highest achievement is to reproduce. Ya know, for the majority of women, it’s not rocket science. Lie on your back and let a dude ride raw and finish.

As for the rest, it is patently offensive and cruel to deem people who don’t have kids as “genetic dead ends.” Has that fool never heard of infertility? Not everyone who does want kids can have them or afford expensive fertility treatments.

He has also passed comments about how he thinks people who don’t have kids shouldn’t be allowed to vote because he thinks they have no stake in the future. I never wanted kids, but believe me, I have a stake in the future. I shudder to think of a world where egomaniacs like him get to dictate another human being’s life purpose, so one of the ways I seek to leave the world a better place than I found it is to counter ignorant commentary by his ilk.

Regardless, Elmo can run his yap about his OWN experience when he not only actively takes part in parenting on the level a woman does—there is a joke among kid-free feminists where women say “I’d make a great father”—AND he has raised kids into adults who actually want anything to do with him, because trust me, when your own daughter won’t speak to you, you’ve done something heinous as a parent.

Furthermore…

1. Eleven kids is a helluva lot of environmental destruction for one man’s ego. Ya wanna talk about morality? How about ethics?

2. Yes, other people’s kids will take care of me when I am old and ailing. They’re called nurses and home care aides. Having kids as some kind of insurance for adult daycare is both selfish and delusional. One visit to a nursing home should cure him of that notion. See also, “daughter who won’t speak to you,” above.

3. If you need to have kids to teach you how to love, be selfless, and have fulfillment, you’re entitled, privileged, selfish, and tedious to begin with. Having kids won’t change that. You’ll just raise them to be entitled, privileged, selfish, and tedious, too. Or, again, they won’t talk to you when they’re adults.

4. As for all these misogynists going on about Taylor Swift’s cover on Time, whining about her being an example of how feminism has “ruined women,” and nattering on about how she’s an “aging, promiscuous cat lady,” don’t threaten women with a good time, boys. If women would rather share their lives with creatures who crap in a box (or in my case, on newspapers or my sweatshirts) than you, you need to do some introspection on what kind of person you are and what it is you think you offer a woman because we don’t need either the money or the extra housework, and we can buy batteries.

A typical rebuttal from a misogynist is that “you need us to have children.” Well, no. We don’t really need men to have or raise children, either. I know several women who went to sperm banks in their late 30s and did IVF. These women have great careers and can provide for a child, and also have a great family and social network—the proverbial village in which to raise a child, including brothers and male friends who can offer a male’s perspective or be a father figure but whom they know will not indoctrinate their children in the ways of toxic masculinity. But again, if a woman is fertile and has all the social support that’s necessary for healthy parenting, all she needs to do is lie on her back (although I wouldn’t recommend that route, as it’s better to know a male’s genetic carriage like you would with a sperm bank). If that ticks off these fragile males, oh well. Be the kind of equal life partner and co-parent women would want to have a family with and you won’t have any problems living your dream of being a family man.

Another misogynistic rebuttal is “You need us to protect you.” From what? Oh, right, other men, both on an individual level with intimate partner violence, sexual assault, predation, and other crimes, and on a macro level with the wars that by and large are waged by men who fail to see a way to peace.

Yeah, no. Sell all of that somewhere else. Healthy, strong men who are comfortable in their skins live and let live.

I suppose now is as good a time as any to announce my Song of the Year, “Labour,” by Paris Paloma. It’s an ode to the unfair distribution of work in a heterosexual couple’s household and the realization that no man is ever a woman’s savior. Turn on captions to follow the lyrics.