Tag: Washington DC

Witness to Stupidity

Many moons ago I dated a D.C. cop, and he used to say that only the stupid criminals get caught. Today I saw proof of that with my own eyes.

While on a walk through one of the District’s wealthier and more quiet neighborhoods, I witnessed a thug getting ready to break into someone’s house. He had climbed up the front of the building—yes, the front, in broad daylight—but apparently he was too much of a klutz to manage it and was dangling by one hand from a second-story window ledge. Truth be told, I might not have noticed him had he not let out an aggravated cuss.

At first I thought it was an attempted robbery, but he didn’t have a sack or backpack slung over his shoulder to suggest that he was about to make off with someone’s hard-earned valuables. All he carried was a large butcher knife.

Oh, this isn’t good, I thought. Not good at all.

Then I saw the dog. This numbnut had brought his dog with him to keep watch while he broke in. It was a mean creature, snarling and crouching as though ready to leap forward and rip open the throat of the first person who chanced by, like me.

Fortunately I was across the street and downwind from this ridiculous crime in progress, and rather than get mauled and quite possibly eaten alive, I ducked behind a car and took a few photos. I couldn’t get the guy’s face, though. He hung facing the house, unable to pull himself up to the window but unwilling to let go of the ledge and drop to the porch.

Come on, look over your shoulder. Show me your face.

No luck. This guy was quite frankly an idiot and very obviously stuck, so I punched in 911. It took the police five minutes to arrive, and you’d think that by then the guy would have just let go and fled. Nope. Only the dog had that much sense, running off into some nearby woods when the black-and-white pulled up. The perp hung there until the police helped him down and arrested him.

Yep, only the dumb ones get caught. Here he is:

And now for today’s candy: KitKats! I love these things, maybe a little too much.

Except I probably wouldn’t love these next ones. Orange? Ye gods, I hope they aren’t pumpkin-flavored. That would be a sacrilege.

I Love Your Smile

Had my dental cleaning this morning. No cavities, very little bacteria as evidenced by no bleeding. The hygienist said my teeth and gums are way healthier than half the people half my age. YAY!

And now I will live up to the promise I made her and aim a few sentences at people in their 20s and 30s in particular:

FLOSS YOUR TEETH.

She told me there is a disconcerting trend among people in their 20s and 30s to not really take care of their teeth very well, and she sees it showing up in her patients at the dental practice. She said the teenagers are great, as are the people over 40, but young adults, particularly those in their mid to late 20s, are showing up with some NASTY, plaque-covered teeth. They have the dental insurance to come for cleanings, so it’s not like they can’t afford good self-care. The exception is if they had orthodontia as kids. Then they tend to have good oral hygiene.

Here’s Arizona’s state Christmas tree, going out to Nancy and Laura. Click to enlarge. I liked the ornament on the right near the top, with the cactii. Others were takes on the Grand Canyon. Clearly I need to buy a regular camera and learn how to use it! I wish we could have gotten closer to these trees, but they’re a few feet behind a fence.

Arizona's state Christmas tree, 2023.
Arizona’s state Christmas tree, 2023. Click to embiggen.

Long on the Finish

Went to see the State Christmas trees on the National Mall tonight. It’s a new tradition with my friend Vicky, now in its second year. We stopped to get some soft-serve ice cream from one of the many food trucks that line the Mall. She got vanilla, I got vanilla with chocolate sprinkles.

About a block from the truck I asked her how it was, as I hadn’t tried mine yet because I was fumbling to put my wallet back in my bag. (I fumble with things in my bag a lot.)

“Well, it’s…it’s not Dairy Queen,” she said.

I took a lick of mine. No, it definitely was not Dairy Queen. I took another lick.

“It has an aftertaste of beer,” I said.

“Yes! I was thinking the same thing. Like it has that kind of fermented feel,” she said.

We both paused. Should we eat it or not?

The decision took all of two seconds: I took a chomp out of mine.

“Still good, though,” I said.

“Yeah. Vanilla beer ice cream.”

I just hope neither one of us regrets it later tonight, heh.

Tonight’s stroll was about 5 miles. Not bad for someone who had a heart attack seven weeks ago tonight, if I say so myself. And glad to have this new tradition with my friend.

In other news… A few days ago I let my friends know I was going to see the trees tonight and asked them their home states and which states they lived in. This first one is going out to my friend Katherine, who lives in Alabama. It’s a little grainy because I didn’t want to ruin the colors by using flash, and I took it with my phone. But I love the Northern Flicker and the Eastern Tiger Swallowtail ornaments, the state bird and state butterfly of Alabama, respectively. Click to enlarge. Again, sorry it’s grainy. Looks lovely on my phone, though!

Alabama's state Christmas tree, 2023
Alabama’s state Christmas tree, 2023. Click to embiggen.