Tag: Halloween candy

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! As we close out the month and Horrordailies, I thought I’d revisit a few of my more memorable costumes from over the years:

Cinderella, ages 6/7. Remember those plastic masks and highly flammable polyester costumes? Yep, one of those. Mine was a lot like this one, only my crown was gold.

Raggedy Ann, age 8. Same kind of deal.

A ghost, age 9. The ol’ sheet with holes cut out for the eyes. Worst hat-head EVER. Looking back on it, I should have cut a million holes into it like Charlie Brown.

“I got a rock.”

Nowadays, Halloween is very different. Parental competition has entered the picture the way it has with everything from Little League to science fairs, so you don’t see too many kids in prefab costumes or even masks unless it’s a superhero costume that Mom sewed herself. I suppose that’s a good thing: At least you know no kid is going to go up in flames if they lean back against an old-school radiator or another kid goes near them with a sparkler.

Halloween is very different for adults these days, too. Heaven forbid a woman isn’t a “sexy” version of something–sexy nurse, sexy cop, sexy witch, sexy nun, sexy yacht captain, sexy bull’s backside.

I was a little more creative back in the day. For instance, in 1985, I went as Madonna in her Desperately Seeking Susan era: Black crop-top lace tank, black bomber jacket, black floppy bow in my hair, black leggings, a bazillion of those black rubber bracelets, and the words “Boy Toy” written across my stomach in black eyeliner.

Oops, that was kind of sexy.

Another year I went as the Clinton Health Plan: Black top and jeans, a cardboard tombstone on my chest that said “H.R. 3600, Health Security Act” (the name of the bill), one of the famous Hillary headbands, and red duct tape everywhere. I’ve since seen the light, but it was a fun costume. Some people needed an explanation, but this being Washington, D.C., many didn’t. All the people who worked on the Hill knew what I was right away. Definitely nothing sexy about that.

These days, I don’t dress up. It’s too much trouble so I just walk around with my fangs out. Maybe next year I’ll fly around as a bat.

And now, the final candy, the one you’ve all been waiting for and may or may not despise with the searing heat of 1,000 suns: Candy corn!

Come on, did you really expect anything different? Love ’em or hate ’em, they’re Halloween in candy form.

And thus concludes this year’s Horrordailies. See you in December, for Holidailies. Be good, kids!

It’s Bat Week!

It’s Bat Week! Like all winged creatures, bats have a dear place in my heart. Contrary to old tales, they are not a menace, but a help to our ecosystem and ultimately to us. Here are three fun facts from the Bat Week website:

—The smallest bat is the Bumblebee Bat. This wee bat is little enough to hug your finger and weighs less than a penny.

—There’s no truth to the saying “blind as a bat.” Bats have eyesight comparable to ours. However, most species find their way around and locate prey using echolocation, which means they emit very high-pitched sounds that bounce off obstacles in their path.

—Almost 70% of bat species feed primarily on insects. That includes mosquitoes. Many bats eat pollen, nectar, or fruit, and are vital for pollinating flowers and spreading seeds.

If you live in an area where there are bats, and you have a bug problem, you can hang a few bat boxes and see if it helps.

Plus, bats are just cool.

Unfortunately, bats are in decline because of pesticides, habitat loss, and climate change. There is also a nasty fungal disease called White-Nose Syndrome. It has killed more than six million bats in the U.S. and Canada in only eight years. The fungus grows on the bare skin of the bats while they’re hibernating. It makes the bats more active when they’re supposed to be zonked out in their hibernation, so they burn up the fat they need to survive the winter and they starve.

But you can help! Some tips from the White-Nose Syndrome website:

—Reduce disturbance to natural bat habitats around your home. For example, reduce outdoor lighting, minimize tree clearing, and protect streams and wetlands.

—If bats are in your home and you don’t want them there, work with your local natural resource agency to exclude or remove them without hurting them after the end of maternity season.

—Plant a pollinator garden.

—Stay out of caves and mines where bats are hibernating.

—Report unusual bat behavior to your state natural resource agency, including bats flying during the day when they should be hibernating (December through March) and bats roosting in sunlight on the outside of structures. More difficult to tell is unusual behavior when bats are not hibernating (April through September), but they shouldn’t be roosting in sunlight or flying in the middle of the day. If you see a bat that cannot fly or is struggling to get off the ground, call your state natural resource agency. Try not to handle the bat. Like all wildlife, they can carry diseases, but also, you don’t want to stress our little friend out.

And now, today’s candy: Candy bats! Of course! These are great as a garnish on cupcakes.

And a little extra, my favorite True Facts video by Ze Frank. Maybe don’t watch it at work or around little kids, heh.

Save Me, Citrus!

Still a bit under the weather. Did you know that your salivary glands can get stones that block the ducts and make your face blow up so that you look like a bizarre hybrid of human and chipmunk? Now you do.

At least, that’s what the primary care nurse practitioner and I think it is.

Well, that is another possibility but otolaryngology (ear, nose, and through, or ENT) is not one of the specialties I’m well-aquainted with, so tomorrow it’s off to the otolaryngologist I go. In the meantime, we’re trying to avert an infection and I’m left with the usual antibiotic side effects that have me thinking of a new slogan for the one I’m taking, “Augmentin: When Every Sneeze Is a Gamble.”

Here’s the food drive donation box at my primary care doctor’s office:

I feel lucky and grateful that I managed to time my call to this ENT’s office right after someone canceled an appointment because this practice is right up the block from me, a 10-minute walk. Otherwise, I’d have to hunt around to find an ENT because this one doesn’t have any other openings until December.

The home treatment for this condition is drinking tons of water—gotta keep that spit watery!—massage, warm compresses, and sucking on citrusy or tart candies. One physician I saw on YouTube last night recommended Starbursts, though he is in the UK and refers to them as Opal Fruits and refuses to call them Starbursts. So that’s today’s candy. Starbursts, I mean. “Opal Fruits” sounds like a fancy name for a kiwi fruit to me, and I am not a fan of kiwi fruit. So Starbursts.