It has been a whole year since we said goodbye. A lot has happened since then, most of it not so great, and it has been hard to get through it all without you by my side. Yes, little one, I know you’re still here, in my heart, in the sky, in the birds who come to visit. I can still feel you sitting on my chest or spreading your wings across my back, shoulder to shoulder in a birdie hug. But I miss your chatter, your dancing, your woodchipping, the way you held out your wings when I gave you a shower, the way you tilted your head when you were curious about something, the way you gobbled up your nanners…and blueberries…and pasta…and apple…and sweet peppers…and more nanners. You were–and remain–the Nanner King!
Little buddy, you taught me so much while you were here: dedication, devotion, unconditional love, and that we should appreciate our loved ones while they are still with us on Earth. At times you taught me patience, too, although I’m still working on that, ha ha.
I don’t know when we’ll be reunited. I mean, you already sent me back once! But when that day comes, I know the last thing I will see on Earth is you flying down to greet me, maybe with your brudduh Jimmy not far behind you, hovering and waiting for me to rise and join you. Until that day comes, I’ll be grateful for every time you visit in a dream, and I will do my best to find the happiness you’d want me to have. I love you now and always.
xoxo,
The Mommy
Slightly damp Nanner King, in the pose he knew would get him whatever he wanted.
Here we are, the last day of 2023 and the last day of Holidailies. I won’t rehash the year again because it was just too terrible, but instead will look forward to 2024. I hope to keep this blog going, but only a couple of times a week.
And now, my resolutions for 2024:
Attend every appointment of cardiac rehab. It will be three times a week for 12 weeks, an hour at a pop. If it snows, I will reschedule, rather than write it off.
Pursue, find, and settle into career fulfillment. (She said vaguely. But if you know, you know.)
Continue exercising after cardiac rehab. I walk a lot, anyway, but I mean on top of that. I doubt I will ever go back to cardio-kickboxing, but low-impact step aerobics would work, and we do have a few treadmills in my building that I can use during inclement weather. This won’t be a challenge. I like to dance my butt off. I like to move it move it. (Woman! Physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically, physically. Woman! Physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically, physically… You’re welcome.)
Drop 20 pounds. Yes, I know. Me and 100 million other Americans. But I kind of have to, for my heart’s sake. Plus, ya know, I just want to. I feel better thinner—lighter on my feet and healthier overall—and my clothes look better.
Resume my tarot practice. I’ve gotten away from it and I miss it. Who knows? Maybe I’ll start a separate blog or socials about that. I’m not sure I’ll ever read for people I don’t already know personally, but it might be fun to join a few groups online to exchange readings.
I think these are all reasonable goals. I would add journaling on paper to the list but I know myself well enough to know that aside from a tarot journal, I’m terrible at sticking to paper journals. I have so many of them, too. At this point, they may very well end up being decorative items for a bookcase, heh.
And with that, I wish all of you a happy, healthy, and safe 2024. Now let’s give 2023 the boot!
This is going around another website where I like to write.
What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before? Taken a beloved pet to say goodbye. Go to Poland. Have a heart attack.
Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I mostly did. I will absolutely have a few resolutions for 2024, and will be revisiting a couple from 2023.
Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
Did anyone close to you die? This beautiful bird, Inigo the Nanday Conure, AKA The Nanner King. I’m still grieving. Twenty-one years together is a long time. What I wouldn’t give for one more day.
Nanner King forever, forever my best friend.
Did anyone close to you get married? No.
What countries did you visit? Poland.
What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023? Career fulfillment.
What dates from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 10, when Inigo and I said goodbye. September 4, seeing Poets of the Fall in Warsaw. October 25, when I had my heart attack.
What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving.
What was your biggest failure? I would have liked to have saved more money, but I guess I did that by default when I had to cancel my trips to England and Finland.
Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes. I’ve been through it.
What was the best thing you bought? The weekend in Poland.
Whose behavior merited celebration? My buddy Liz. I could not have gotten through this year without her. Also, all the friends who offered to help, send me food, bring me food, etc. after my heart attack. I was able to manage by myself, but it’s a balm to know that help is there if I need it.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? No one could make me depressed, but appalled? “Miranda.” (If you know, you know.) I’m pretty disgusted by Elmo Muskrat, too. And most of the Supreme Court.
Where did most of your money go? Rent.
What did you get really, really, really excited about? Poland! It was a great time with great people.
What song will always remind you of 2023? “Through the Years,” by Kenny Rogers. Inigo loved country music and after we said goodbye that song came into my head and felt like a message from him. It still comes into my head at random moments, and then I feel his presence.
Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder: Sadder. Grief will do that to you.
Older or wiser: Older, of course. We all are. Wiser, yes. This was a terrible year.
Thinner or fatter: Slightly thinner, but not much.
Richer or poorer: The same.
What do you wish you’d done more of? Travel.
What do you wish you’d done less of? Work.
How did you spend Christmas? Chilling. That said, I had a more socially active holiday season this year than I’ve had in 10 years.
How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? Likely with friends, if I feel up to it. The last time I saw friends was a trivia night and by 9:00 I was feeling loopy and exhausted, so I hope I have the energy.
What was your favorite TV program? What We Do In the Shadows. I heart Nandor.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Not hate, but I lost respect for a few people and no longer want anything to do with them.
What was the best book you read? I haven’t finished anything I started, so nothing.
What was your greatest musical discovery? Paris Paloma. Here’s my Song of the Year:
What did you want and get? Out of the United States, but not for long enough.
What did you want and not get? Six winning numbers. Or five.
What was your favorite film of this year? The only new release I saw was Barbie, so I guess that wins by default.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Got take-out in which the fortune cookie had no fortune.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Five winning numbers. I don’t even need the sixth. Just enough to get me out of the rat race. A million with a multiplier would be just fine.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? I don’t have one, but click here to see my rather neglected URSTYLE profile.
What kept you sane? Friends.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I’ve lost my taste for celebrities and public figures, actually.
What political issue stirred you the most? Reproductive rights. Don’t believe in abortion? Don’t have one. Oh, you think it’s wrong but you couldn’t have one anyway because you’re male and can’t get pregnant? Then stay out of two things: Vaginas and the way.
Who do you miss? Inigo, with all my heart.
Who was the best new person/people you met? Aleks and Claire. Met them in Poland and they’re great ladies.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023: I’m at an age where pretty much it’s all just confirmation of what I’ve already learned, but for this year, will go with“Don’t forget to just fucking chill,” from Masood Boomgaard, AKA Self-Help Singh
A quote that sums up your year: The only way out is through.
zenzalei 