Rockin’ the Red

Tonight’s entry is inspired by Mary over at Red Nose, a devout hockey and Washington Capitals fan.

I love hockey, too. One of my first memories, if not the first memory I had, is of my father sitting on the edge of my parents’ bed listening to a game on the radio.

“What are you doing, Daddy?”

“I’m listening to the Rangers game.”

“What’s a Rangers game?”

And the rest was history. My father was a Rangers fan until Long Island got its own hockey team, the Islanders. Then he switched. He used to love the “grudge matches” between the Rangers and the Islanders, which, admittedly, have always been pretty intense, even rather bloody at times. I grew up an Islanders fan, as the team’s first season was 1972-1973, when I was six years old, and enjoyed the fun of being in high school for most of the Islanders Stanley Cup Dynasty.

Then in the 1990s, after I decided to make the D.C. area my home, I decided to adopt a local team, and so I adopted the Capitals. I had season tickets in the 1997-1998 season, when they went all the way to the Stanley Cup finals only to be swept by the Detroit Red Wings (still can’t stand ’em). That season coincided with my Year Off from Men, and I traveled with friends to see the Caps play in a whole bunch of different cities, including in western Canada in Edmonton, Calgary, and Vancouver. I went full die-hard, actually.

My parents were not pleased. In fact, when I went home to visit one Christmas, there was a sign on the front door in my mother’s handwriting: “This entrance for Islanders fans only. All others use rear door.”

AND SHE MADE ME DO IT, TOO. I remember my father telling me “You’re lucky we didn’t change the locks. I had to talk her out of it.”

“Don’t worry, I still love the Mets.”

Wrong thing to say, as my family was a house divided on that, with my father a Mets fan and my mother a Yankees fan. And my father called me out on that, too. “You can’t pick a Washington baseball team because they don’t have one.” (The Nationals came back to D.C. in 2005. And, um, well, I adopted them, too, but my parents were both gone by that point.)

“Okay, the Jets. I will always love the Jets.”

At least I stayed true to my word on that, bag over my head and all—yes, we still do that—because they haven’t won a Super Bowl since I was two years old. I am now 58, so do the math.

A New York Jets footbal fan wearing a paper bag over his head that says "Same old Jets."
Image: USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images

I’m willing to bet the guy next to him with his eyes shut is a Jets fan, too. The expression says it all.

But I will never—and I mean NEVER—be a fan of the D.C. football team. I never liked the name “Redskins,” but “Commanders?” What kind of tone-deaf Handmaid’s Tale toxic masculinity crap is that? NO, don’t tell me it refers to the military. D.C. is one of the most well-read and liberal cities in the country, and The Handmaid’s Tale TV series was in its white-knuckling fifth season when the new name took effect. Whoever made the decision didn’t read the room.

As for hockey, I’m sticking with the Caps. If the Islanders go further in the playoffs than the Caps, I’ll root for them, but my heart rocks the Red, and so here is tonight’s ornament.

A Christmas ornament featuring a figuring of a Washington Capitals hockey player.



Christmas Greenery

As part of my annual trip to see the state Christmas trees with my friend, we also go to the U.S. Botanic Garden, so tonight I thought I’d share some photos from that.

Here’s a tree in the outdoor conservatory.

An outdoor Christmas tree decorated with fruits and vegetables.

The theme this year is pollinators, so here are a couple of ornaments from the trees inside. First, a winged insect.

A Christmas ornament shapped like a winged insect.

You know I had to find a bird.

A hummingbird Christmas ornament.

The poinsettias in front of the sculpture of the Capitol were lovely.

A sculpture of the U.S. Capitol with poinsettias in front.

Unfortunately, while we were there, we ran into Donald, J.D., and Elon, but we didn’t let that ruin our day.

Three phallic-looking cactii.

Such pricks, those three.

Dreaming of a White-Light Christmas

Well, friends, I have bad news. The state Christmas trees are lit with green lights this year. The color completely ruins the color in the artwork on the ornaments. Here is the Bureau of Indian Education tree.

The Bureau of Indian Education Christmas Tree 2024.

The top hexagon shape in this ornament is light blue in real life—I think. But see how you can’t really tell what the colors are? So unfortunately, posting the state Christmas trees isn’t going to happen this year. Whoever decided on the green made a huge mistake. Dear Park Service: Don’t do that again, please.

Close-up of a hand-drawn Christmas ornament.

So here is an arty photo of the top of the Virginia tree with the Washington Monument in the background.

The Virginia Christmas Tree 2024 with the Washington Monument in the background.

Here is the National Christmas Tree, which looks like a giant Wolverine took a swipe out of it.

The National Christmas Tree 2024.

It came all the way from Alaska and I can only surmise that it got damaged in transit. I saw an article that said the two drivers who drove the tree from Tongass National Forest to D.C. have driven more than 10 million accident-free miles between them, but I dunno. I think something happened to this poor tree on the way to D.C. Either that or some jerky conservative in Alaska thought it would be funny for the Bidens’ last tree to look like it’s missing pieces. The trunk is crooked, too. When I saw it from another angle all I could think was “This tree has scoliosis.” Poor thing. At least they took pains to anchor it after last year’s tree blew down in a storm. They hoisted it back up with a crane but never fixed the lights, so it was a hot mess.

The National Christmas Tree, lit up at night.

As for this year’s state Christmas trees, if you want to see one ornament from each one, you can visit the National Tree website. (I like Iowa’s best. Also Missouri’s and Illinois’s.) As I won’t have time to go back in daylight to take photos, all I can do is apologize and hope that whoever makes decisions about this kind of thing sees the error of their ways and goes back to white lights next year so we can see all the fun colors the kids picked out for their artwork.

I did, however, buy the White House ornament, which I’ll post at some point after I put my tree up tomorrow evening. I figure I might as well get the last one before the fall of democracy.