A psychologist I follow on Instagram had a post today about happiness. His point was that happiness in life depends on the quality of your thoughts, and that the quality of your thoughts is something you can learn to control. His post got me thinking about my own prompts and strategies for emotional well-being and improving my thoughts, and it prompted me to write them all down so here they are.

1. Comparison is the thief of joy. There’s always going to be someone richer, better-looking, more accomplished, etc. Happiness comes from being content with what you have, and I have a lot—friends, a spacious apartment that I love, food in my belly, peace and quiet, a job.

2. Attachment is the root of all suffering. This includes being attached to the past as well as to things, people, and ways of thinking that are detriments to well-being.

3. Yes, there are genetic, epigenetic, experiential, and environmental aspects to depression and anxiety, but again, attachment comes into play. Depression is often about too much attachment to the past, which can’t be changed, so a good part of healing is in letting it go; anxiety is attachment to what you ultimately cannot control, be it the future, other people, or the state of the world, so do what I can in my own life and sphere, and then let it go.

4. Build on your strengths. We all have some, and that’s more fun and engaging than focusing on your shortcomings. 5. Feel the feelings. The only way out is through, so I allow myself to feel what I feel and work through it, even if it takes time and effort (as with grief when Inigo and I said goodbye), so I can let it go.

6. Help others. It will take you out of your own head for a while, and it feels good for both the people and creatures I help and for me, too.

7. Go outside. Walk around in as green a space as possible. Take in nature, its sounds, its sights, the smell of trees, grass, rain, snow. I find nothing as restorative as that.

8. Practice gratitude for what you have. After the heart attack I’m just happy to be alive.

And now for tonight’s state tree, going out to my friends on the Maryland side, Vicki, Deb, Vicky, and Louise. Unfortunately, the folks who set up the state trees put Maryland and Virginia next to each other but the signs were one in front of the other, so I couldn’t really get the Maryland sign in the photo as I have with the other trees. However, it’s clear it’s the Maryland tree because of all the crabs, heh. Also, there are ornaments with the state flag on it, and the state bird, the Baltimore Oriole.

Here’s an ornament I bought while out on a fun afternoon in Ellicott City with Vicki and Deb.  (And it just occurred to me that I don’t have a Virginia ornament. THE SHAME!)