Lawd, but I am so sick of people bashing Taylor Swift and the misogyny that doing so reveals about them.

Let me preface this by saying that although I do love two of her albums (folklore and evermore), I’m not a Swiftie in that I wouldn’t pay thousands of dollars to see her in concert, I only listen to her music on Spotify and haven’t actually purchased any of her albums, and I haven’t seen the movie about her. Therefore, this isn’t a knee-jerk reaction to criticism of something I personally enjoy or someone I admire.

This is about the cultural war over her and the rampant sexism and misogyny fired at her and her fans. CNN had a good piece on why you should watch what you say about Taylor Swift in front of your kids, because they will pick up on what you say. The author made the point that Eminem flipping off the crowd after his football team lost was seen as “relatable” but Swift watching her boyfriend play football and cheering on his team was seen as a publicity stunt and a distraction.

Over the past few months I’ve seen this culture war play out on Threads, the Twitter alternative that is tied to Instagram. People—usually white men in trucker’s caps—ragged incessantly on Swift for doing what they themselves do, which is watch her boyfriend play football. Funny how no one criticized me when I dated a football player back in high school and went to all of his games to cheer him on. So what is it about Swift that edges these men so much?

First, she’s wildly successful as a businessperson in a way none of them will ever be. Yet they’ll fawn over blowhards like Elon Musk and the Orange Ape, both of whom have proven to be terrible at every aspect of business except for wasting other people’s money and ruining any major venture they inherit or buy.

Second, she’s outspoken and strong.

Third, she’s not afraid of being vulnerable.

Fourth, she’s beautiful and super feminine in her appearance and carriage.

It’s those last two that really set the toxic guys off. She’s beautiful and feminine, but she’s not pliable or submissive. In their minds, being feminine should also mean being malleable and easily dominated, and Swift is anything but. Does not compute! Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!

Compare this with Pink going to see then-boyfriend Carey Hart race in motocross. There was no criticism of her at all, and she proposed to him at one of his races by holding up signs saying “Will you marry me?” and “Serious!” as he was actually racing. How is that not a “distraction” but Taylor Swift going to a football game is? Don’t get me wrong: Pink has her own brand of beauty and femininity, but her image is that she’s one of the “cool” chicks, someone you’d hang out and have a few beers with while you both watched her now-husband do what he does. She wears her hair short, she’s built like an athlete, and her strength is the kind that implies that she’ll kick your ass if you say anything about anyone she loves. She’s one of the girls guys see as one of the guys. That has its own toxic perspective, wherein an athletic woman is seen as masculine, but that’s a post for another day.

I’ve also seen words like “simp” lobbed at Travis Kelce for showing affection to Swift. For those not up on internet slang, simp is a word used by certain men, usually incels (involuntarily celibates), to describe someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention toward another person, typically someone who does not reciprocate the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship. Uh, yeah. Pretty sure that doesn’t apply to Kelce, as it’s obvious Swift loves the guy. As a pro athlete, he wouldn’t have a hard time getting sex, either, and therefore wouldn’t need to be unctuous just to get attention from women. The misogynists are angry that someone they would consider to be an “alpha male” dares to show affection for a woman he loves, because in their eyes, alpha males should treat women like garbage.

All of this hatred toward Swift and Kelce reflects a culture of misogyny and toxic masculinity, one that fills social media and popular discourse. It’s a sign of insecurity among those who belittle Swift and Kelce, many of whom will also natter on about the “crisis of male loneliness.” These dullards might as well wear a hat with a logo declaring their hatred of anyone who isn’t White and male like them.

Oh, wait… Most of them do. A red one.

Well, I have no sympathy for those guys. Half of them are angry that women want nothing to do with them, yet don’t see how they’re the common denominator in all of their failed attempts to date and find love. The other half may be partnered, but I guarantee that most of their wives or girlfriends do a helluva lot more housework and childminding than they do, even as those women also work full-time, and then these guys will wonder why their wives won’t sleep with them. They’re the kind of guy who struts around acting like he deserves a medal for Father of the Year for changing a diaper, pushing a stroller, or taking his kid to the park for a game of catch. They’re the kind of guy who will take a woman for granted and then say “she blindsided me” when the couple hits their 50s, the kids leave the nest, and she leaves him.

Is it any wonder young women are increasingly eschewing dating and relationships in favor of building their careers and working toward buying their own homes, and even deciding, in their late 30s, to go to a sperm bank and try IVF if they want a child? Patriarchy likes to decree “why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?” but women have turned that on its head and declared “why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?”

More women are in college than men. More women are in law school and med school than men. And the more women rise, the more this pathetic subset of men hates them for it, and they aim their hatred at Swift because they see Swift as symbolic of the women they want but who are leaving them behind, the smart, beautiful, talented women who seek and receive more from a man than what these guys have to offer. Same goes for the women and girls who love Swift’s music and are Swifties. These guys tend to be the type who inherently belittle anything a girl or woman is interested in, so it’s double threatening when girls and women see value in a strong, successful woman. Wouldn’t want the little wimmin’ gettin’ ideas.

Well, to hell with those guys. I say more power to the young women who have decided they’d rather be alone than put up with their nonsense, and more power to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. Rock on with your strength, and don’t mind the angry little men behind the curtain. Their time is over, and yours has just begun.