Virulent Parrots and Hooded Goats

It’s October, and that can mean only one thing: A failed attempt at Horrordailies. I haven’t touched this website in quite some time, but as long as we have several long-running horror shows–civil unrest, a deadly global pandemic, and the Trump administration, to name a few–I might as well make some use of the time that I’m not commuting to the office. Bear with me as I try to figure out the dashboard. It seems WordPress changed it while I was gone. Gotta be honest, not a fan.

I was clicking around earlier and saw a fun horror plot generator. Here is the result:

The Curse of the Red Candle
A Horror Story
by Zenzalei

Whilst investigating the death of a local tarot reader, a fiery journalist called Tess Violetta uncovers a legend about a supernaturally cursed, red candle circulating throughout Washington, D.C. As soon as anyone uses the candle, he or she has exactly 162 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look hazy. A marked person feels like a virulent parrot to touch.

Tess gets hold of the candle, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: an astute bat balancing on a magnificent tarot reader, an old newspaper headline about an electrocution accident, a hooded goat ranting about ribcages and a drinking well located in a godforsaken place.

When Tess notices her throat has parrot-like properties, she realises that the curse of the red candle is true and calls in her son, a physician called Inigo Violetta, to help.

Inigo examines the candle and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the astute bat balancing on a magnificent tarot reader particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Tess and Inigo pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded goat. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

The reviews are priceless:

“This is actually pretty scary. I’ll never be able to look at another red candle for as long as I live.” – The Daily Tale

“Oh please! There’s nothing scary about an astute bat balancing on a magnificent tarot reader. Are we supposed to feel spooked?” – Enid Kibbler

“The hooded goat really freaked me out.” – Hit the Spoof

“I hope Tess and Inigo get married.” – Zob Gloop

It appears Zob Gloop is a sicko, because Inigo is Tess’ son.

Looking forward to the next 30 evenings of fun-filled horror. Or horror-filled fun. Or maybe just some lame vampire haiku. Not sure which. It’s a mystery, that.

This guy would have me write about bananas.

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